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Newsletters 2002 index 


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Volume 2 Number 3 Autumn 2001
Club Meeting Wednesday 20 June 2001
Reg Walker and Keith Coleman were presented with prizes as joint winners of the Quiz published in the spring edition of the Newsletter. A sampling evening took place with members being given descriptions of twelve numbered tobaccos. Six pouches of tobacco labelled A-F were placed on the table, and members had to try to identify as many as possible. Last year's winner, Reg Walker, who has spent the last twelve months trying to convince people that he is Britain's leading tobacco expert, finished in last place with a magnificent 0 out of 6. (His pathetic excuses of 'Dublin Pub Lag' and 'Deep Glass Thrombosis' were discounted).

The winners were Frank King Jnr and Adrian Baker, who both scored 4. The tobaccos sampled were Samuel Gawith's Rum and Honey Flake; Grand Cut; Coniston Cut Plug; Borkum Riff Champagne; Dunhill Aromatic; and Murray's Oriental Mixture.
Wing Commander Frank Lissimore MBE
It is with much sadness that we have to announce the death of our Club President, Frank Lissimore. Frank had been a member of PCN for many years and was made President in 1993. During WW2 he was part of Operation Neptune, the renowned covert mission devised to guard the D-Day fleet from air attack and to provide cover for the Allied troops. While posted at RAF Neatishead, he was sent to assist the staff of Lord Mountbatten as they prepared for the final stages of battle against the Japanese.
He was honoured with an MBE for devotion to duty with the British Liberation Army on and after D-Day. Frank was 86 years old.
Peter Griffith
It is with much regret that we have to announce the death of Peter Griffith. Peter and his wife Melanie joined the club five years ago, and until Peter's recent illness regularly attended meetings and the Norfolk Championship.
Billy Burton
It is with much sadness that we have to report the death of Billy Burton. Billy was an honorary member of PCN and had attended all nine Norfolk Championships, to which he travelled by bus from his home town of Dereham. He was a lifelong supporter of Norwich City and travelled to most away games. He will be sadly missed at this year's Championship. Billy was 87.
From the Archives 1980
23 January

The seventh AGM was held at the Coach and Horses, Thorpe Road. The following members were present: Messrs Walker, Walls, Fish, Bennett, Brooks, Howard, Leach, Palmer, Struthers, and Taylor. Officers and Committee were re-elected en bloc. M Taylor, our new member from London, gave details of various film shows he could arrange for future meetings. (Hope he hadn't been shopping in Soho). The meeting closed at 9.20 p.m. and sausage rolls, pies and sandwiches were consumed.
The February meeting was a talk on Meteorology from member Norman Brooks. In March, Billy Taylor presented a Dunhill promotional film and took away some members' pipes for repair…..April's local contest involved Escudo tobacco.
In May, Ken Elphick (HMSO employee) gave a talk on his time as Treasurer to the Island of Tristan da Cunha. The June Pitch and Putt meeting planned for Waterloo Park was abandoned (to 'The Mill'): pitch flooded. The Chairman's July Tour of Historic Houses incorporated The Lamb, Walnut Tree Shades and Royal Hotel among others. A sausage evening was held in August. The RAFA 'Smoke-in' raised £402 for their charity, with 3 grammes of St Bruno ready rubbed smoked in briars of the members' choice. The winner was Reg Walker (72'30) with Dave Martin (ex HMSO) runner up at 62'00. Phil Leach obviously had a 'bus to catch, as he managed 29'00.
October saw a Tobacco Sampling sponsored by Erinmore; November was turned over to terry Walls and a presentation of a recent HMSO Music publication on Virginals and Harpsichords (really). December's Pub visit was to the Horse and Dray. Overall, an eventful year.
Annual Bowls Tournament, Saturday 14 July 2001
The middle of summer, and we looked forward to our annual bowls tournament, but it rained cats, dogs, hippos and crocodiles. (Should have known better than to hold it on the same day as the Lord Mayor's Procession). We gathered around the green at 1430 hours, and quickly decided to beat a hasty retreat to the pub. Back in the dry, it was decided to hold a bar billiards competition. Frank King Jnr. and Adrian Baker bit the dust in the preliminary round. In the semi-finals Keith Garrard was beaten by Frank King Snr. who had never played the game before, and Shaun Struthers lost to Len Ellis.

In a nail-biting final, Frank Snr. beat Len in a photo finish. The winner and the runner-up were presented with bowls trophies (we had to do something with them). The Secretary ran a raffle, and won second prize. We then retired to the Rosary Clubroom to consume fresh Cromer crabs, Gala pie, ham and salad, with all the trimmings. Adrian kindly provided glasses of Australian Chardonnay to wash it all down. The best was made of a typical English summer day.
Readers' Letters
Dear Editor
Enjoyed immensely PCN Newsletter Volume 2 Number 2, summer 2001. Very 'chatty' style, full of wry humour; good, short, terse and to the point articles, information etc. All power to your elbow!
Peter Wiseman; Hon. Sec. Pipe Club of London

Contributions, letters, articles, corrections, clarifications and criticisms of the Secretary's Raffle are always welcome. Please contact the Secretary.
Club Meeting Wednesday 18 July 2001
A Cigar-smoking Competition (otherwise known as 'Length Does Matter') The rules of the competition were that it would last for 45 minutes. One minute lighting time was allowed before the 45 minutes commenced. The winner was to be the person who achieved the longest ash during the 45 minutes. Players were able to call for a measurement at any time during that period. Keith Coleman acted as referee and chief measurer. Peter Wrightson of Loretta Cigars supplied us with Don Tomas Rothschilds from Honduras. John Betts was the first to call for his to be measured, and managed 1''1/2 inches. David Crabb's was then measured at 1"9/16. Keith Garrard's end dropped off.
The others used up the full allotted time. Peter Wrightson only managed 1"1/8. Reg Walker had a bent one of no great length. James Oxley-Brennan finished in third place with 1"3/4 and was awarded a King Edward Keyring (a collector's item in 200 years time). Tony Larner was second with 1"13/16 and received a leather wallet. The winner was declared to be Len Ellis with 2"1/8 and received a cigar case. A fun evening, and we were all given a 'Certificate of Length' to take home and show our wives.
Club Meeting Wednesday 15 August 2001
Keith 'Nicey' Coleman and Reg 'Smashy' Walker presented an evening of smoking and drinking related music on 78rpm gramophone records played on original wind-up table-top models. Not so much 'Garage Music' as 'Outside Toilet Music.' The evening took the form of a quiz with cryptic clues. The music included well-known classics such as Cigareets and Whisky and Wild Wild Women by Red Ingle and The Unnatural Seven, Blaze Away by Eddie Peabody and his one-man band, and This Is The way The Puff Puff Goes by The Harry Bidgood Orchestra.
The winner was Phil Leach, who was presented (following the extraction of a promise that it would not be remoulded into a flower-pot) with a record of Spike Jones and his City Slickers performing Clink. Clink, Another Drink and 50 grammes of Scottish Flake. Len Ellis was runner-up and received a very valuable mystery prize. A pity that Shaun Struthers was not there- only he could have named all the records made by Malcolm McEachern. Phil's winning score was 13 ˝ out of a possible 3003.
Keith's Quiz
  1. What was the nickname of the heavyweight boxer Joe Frazier?
  2. In Erskine' Caldwell's 1932 novel, in which American state is Tobacco Road?
  3. In October 1998 an Australian female vocalist had her fourth top twenty hit with which song?
  4. Name the singer: he was born on 19 February 1940 in Detroit, his only British Number One was in August 1970. In 1989 he received the coveted Grammy Living Legend award.
  5. Which pipesmoker, a Pipeman of the Year in his own country, was a sporting World Champion in 1971, 1975 and 1978?
  6. In Belgian Surrealist Rene Magritte's painting of a tobacco pipe, which five words are written beneath the pipe?
  7. Who recorded the album Ogden's Nut Gone Flake?
  8. Which TV Chef is a patron of FOREST?
  9. What in the 19th Century was the Queen's Tobacco Pipe?
  10. The pipe roll, exchequer record, was introduced into England in which year?
Answers to The Secretary by 21 November 2001
Forthcoming Events
Wednesday 17 October: See what offended the good burghers of Chicago in 1893. (Alright, they didn't have them, but this is Hollywood). A film quiz based on Frank King's suspect private video collection. N.B. It is rumoured that the good bits can be viewed apres-esemble for a small consideration).
Wednesday 7 November: The annual darts tournament at The Rosary Tavern. Trophies for the winners, a prize for the highest score, sandwiches for all. Come and have a game. The standard is pretty poor. (You can tell that the Secretary didn't win last year).
Wednesday 21 November: It's cheese and pickle night. Cheeses from England, France, The Netherlands. Goats, sheep. cows and perhaps gnus. (Sorry sir, that is the end of the gnus).
Wednesday 19 December: Christmas draw and party night. Lots of prizes and lots of food.
Wednesday 16 January 2002: Annual General Meeting.
Wednesday 20 February: Our annual Briar smoking contest. Reigning champion Keith Garrard.
THE OLD SOLDIER WINS September 5th. 1723. Yesterday, at two o'clock in the afternoon, was a smoaking match over against the Theater in Oxford, a scaffold being built up for it just at Finmore's, an alehouse. The conditions were, that anyone ( man or woman ) that could smoak out three ounces of Tobacco first, without drinking or going off the stage, should have twelve shillings. Many tried, and 'twas thought that a journyman taylour, of St. Peters in the East, would have been victor, he smoaking faster than, and being many pipes before, the rest; but at last he was so sick, that 'twas thought he would have dyed; and an old man, that had been a soldier, and smoked gently, came off conquerour, smoaking the three ounces quite out, and he told one ( from whom I have it ) that, after it, he smoaked four or five pipes the same evening.

In June, 1860, there died at Ath, in Belgium, an unrivalled beer drinker and smoker. It is estimated that between the ages of eighteen and ninety one, he drank more than 22,000 gallons of beer and consumed upwards of four tons of tobacco. This bold smoker appears to have undertaken the task of putting to confusion the enemies of the fragrant weed.
Pipe Club of Norfolk Newsletter
Volume 3 Number 3 Autumn 2002
PCN Meeting 19 June 2002
A small turnout for the Flake Sampling evening. Members were given a list with descriptions of twelve flake tobaccos, six of which were placed on the table for identification. The six flakes were Samuel Gawith's Honeydew, St.Bruno, Gawith Hoggarth's Cherry and Cream, Walnut, Kendal Dark and Premier League Rich Dark, the latter proving to be the most popular. Five competitors managed to correctly identify two tobaccos, so we had to go to a 'golden goal' playoff, where the five had to re-assess and mark the tobaccos they had correctly chosen.
Two competitors managed this stage correctly, and to avoid a penalty shoot-out they decided to share the first prize (a tin of Mahogany Flake). The joint winners were Frank King and Adrian Baker. The usual raffle took place in which Frank Jr. won a toast rack. It is rumoured that he will shortly be opening a Bed and Breakfast.
Annual Bowls Tournament, Saturday 6 July 2002
Only four PCN members and two from BRSA turned up for the tournament at the British Rail Bowling Green. Five games of six ends were played, after which John Leverington was declared the winner with 4 wins and an aggregate of +29. The runner-up was Keith Garrard, with 4 wins +17. Third was Bob Clare (BRSA) with 4 wins +11. Bob is a life-long pipe smoker, although not a member of PCN, and he greatly enjoyed the jar of tobacco that was placed on the edge of the green. The Chairman presented the winner with a trophy and the Gawith Hoggarth Shield. The runner-up received a trophy. As there were six raffle prizes and six people present it was decided to put £1 in each and take one ticket per person, so everybody got a prize. To no-one's surprise the first number out of the hat was that of the Secretary. The four PCN members then retired to the Rosary Tavern where Nina had laid on a magnificent spread of crabs, ham, cheese and various salads, with a table laid for eight people. Unfortunately, four members who had booked meals failed to turn up.
We propose to hold this event on a Wednesday evening next year in the hope that more members will attend. it all takes time and money to organise trophies, raffle prizes etc. and Nina put a lot of work into the buffet. This year's event cost the club a considerable sum.
The moaning over, the four people who did attend agreed that it was a very entertaining day.
PCN Meeting 17 July 2002
This meeting was a cigar-smoking contest, where everyone was issued with a Henri Winterman Half Corona, kindly donated by the Chairman. We were given 30 minutes smoking time, and the contestant who produced the longest ash in that time was to be declared the winner. Keith Coleman acted as referee and timekeeper, utilising some highly technical measuring equipment. Contestants could call for theirs to be measured at any stage of the contest. The winner at the end of 30 minutes was Reg walker, who managed two and one thirty-second of an inch. Keith Garrard was close on his heels with two inches. As the Secretary had forgotten the prizes, both Reg and Keith were presented with a small packet of tobacco. All present were presented with a Certificate of Length.
PCN Meeting 21 August 2002
Phil Leach gave a report on our President, Shaun Struthers, who is in hospital recovering from viral meningitis. Phil said that Shaun was progressing well, and missing his pipe and tobacco. An auction evening took place with members bringing along unwanted or overstocked smoking-related items to be auctioned. Fifty lots were up for grabs, with Keith Garrard acting as auctioneer. Keith made an excellent job of extracting money from people (his life's work) and the auction raised £200.90 for the Norfolk Championship fund.
This was boosted by a very generous donation of £40 from Adrian Baker. A Dunhill tobacco pouch made £20, and the surprise item of the evening was a bakelite ashtray marked Nut Brown tobacco, which made £10.50. Reg Walker bought 14 items, which included four that he had brought along himself. Reg was spotted on Thursday morning with a stall at the cattle market car boot sale.
Keith and Frank are Guinea Pigs
I received a call from a sales representative who asked 'Could the boys of the pipe Club test three new flakes?' I gladly accepted on behalf of the members. Unfortunately this happened between Club meetings, and as the Rep was flying to Las Vegas for a tobacco exhibition the day before the July meeting, Frank King Jnr. and myself shared the tobacco and completed the assessments. The first sample was marked BBV. This turned out to be Bright Burley and Virginia, which we found pleasant but rather ordinary. Next was BBV/S, a scented version of the above, which we both agreed was rather good.
It was of medium strength, cool-burning and tasty. The last was KFC (but in no way resembled Kentucky Fried Chicken). This we found to be the strongest of the three, a tobacco for the experienced smoker. KFC, by the way, stands for Kentucky Fire Cured. At least one of these tobaccos should be available from Churchills of Norwich when they hit the market.
Readers' Letters
From the previous Newsletter: 'Nobody ever writes to us, nobody loves us, and we are feeling very lonely……….. 'Dear Sir Somebody is writing to you- we do love you, and you need not feel lonely any more! And we do not expect a pound (no metric measurements for us) of your finest baccy either. Thank you for the latest interesting, enjoyable, Newsletter which Julie and I read at one sitting (it is far too compelling to eke out over the Summer months). We both look forward to October, especially to hearing the first ever lady guest speaker. Regards to you and all the lads. Julie Devitt and Kate O'Callaghan'
From the Archives 1984
From the Archives 1984
Eleven members were present for the 11th AGM held at the Coach and Horses, Thorpe Road. All officers were re-elected, and the annual draw took place in which Rod Howard won a Dunhill pipe, Frank Lissimore a brace of pheasants, and Frank Bennett some mushrooms (magic ones?). The annual club contest took place in February with 4 grammes of McConnell's Scottish Flake being smoked in pipes of individual member's choice. The contest was won by Reg Walker in 71'04 with Shaun Struthers runner-up with 63'53.

In March eleven club members enjoyed a meal, washed down with Abbot Ale, in a private room at Tatlers. During the evening Rod Howard presented the Chairman with a gavel and block carved in the shape of a pipe. This is still being used with great authority by our current chairman. The May meeting took place in the York Tavern, where two members were playing bowls for the home team. Members spent a short while on the edge of the green until foul weather drove them into the bar, where a game of darts was played.

An outing to Cromer in June had to be cancelled as many members were not well enough to make it. Instead, the chairman called a special meeting at the Royal Norfolk Show, the meeting to be held in the environs of the traditional Guinness tent. Unfortunately Guinness ignored the tradition in 1984 and did not have a tent, so the meeting never took place. One or two members were seen making the best of things in the traditional Cider tent, however.

The July tour of historic houses took in the Reindeer, Ten Bells, Plough and White Lion. Four members and a guest caught a train to Cromer in August for a tour of historic seaside houses, which took in the Bath House, Crabs Bar, Wellington and White Horse. On returning to Norwich the quintet were still thirsty for historical premises, so finished the evening at the Bystanders Club. A cheese and pickle evening was enjoyed at the club room at the Coach and Horses in September. Yet more beer in October, when members met at the Seventh Norwich CAMRA Beer Festival, where it was agreed that Moonraker was the beer of the festival. Another visit to Tatlers was enjoyed by seven members. The Christmas tour of historic houses included the Plasterers, Kings Head, Lawyer, Royal Hotel, Vine and Whites, where Carol Singers cheered the company (Does anyone know where Miss Singers is now?)
British Championship Sunday 14 July 2002
Unfortunately, and mainly due to holiday commitments, nobody from Norfolk attended the Championship this year. The winner was Mark Dyer, from Cotswold Pipe Club, in a time of 52'14. Second was Alex Burn (what a good name for a pipesmoker) from Hollingsworth PC with 51'31. Third was Mark Heel, also from Hollingsworth PC, with 51'00.
Hollingsworth won the team trophy with a combined time of 2'26'39. Pipe Club of London was second (2'20'40). PCN Members achieved 14th place (Dave Polhill, 35'40), 23rd (Peter Blackman, 28'07) and 26th (Peter Wiseman, 21'26).
World Pipesmoking Championship 2002
This year's event was held on 8 September at Saint Niklaas, Belgium. As nobody else was either interested or able to attend the World Championship, my good lady wife volunteered to be my travelling companion and tobacco-carrier. We booked in for three nights at an hotel in Brussels. Quelle surprise, as they say over there, this happened to be the weekend of the Brussels Beer Festival. The city square in front of the Grand Palace was covered with marquees offering every Belgian beer to sample (a typist writes: And I'm sure the Secretary did)). There was also a wonderful parade of horse-drawn drays as well as several march-pasts and jazz bands.

Having spent the Saturday in the Carnival Spirit of the Capital, we made the hour-long train journey to Saint Niklaas on the Sunday morning. The first thing to do when we reached the venue was to devour a huge baguette washed down with a Leffe Trippel. A large exhibition hall was set out with Pipemakers from several different countries displaying their wares. On offer were some wonderful straight-grains at wonderful prices. There were two teams from England selected on the previous records of contestants. I am still wondering how I made the 'A' team. We were all at numbered tables and- guess what- we sat next to our good friends from Purmerend. Old acquaintances were renewed and old jokes retold.

As the contest got underway, 487 smokers (435 male, 52 female) from 19 countries all lit up at the same time. You can imagine the cloud. A large television screen was set up in the adjoining room so that spectators could watch all of the exciting bits of the contest.
I came very close to winning this year.
I finished a mere 2 hours and 10 minutes from the winner- Lubomir Cinka from the Czech Republic (02:49:48) in second place was Franco Gian from Italy (02:48:36) with Bent Buchtrup of Denmark third (02:45:35) . The ladies champion was Danuta Pytel from Poland (01:54:46). The best English times were :- Brian Mills 35th. (01:43:22) Richard Kitching 66th. (01:19:39) Andrew Briggs 73rd. (01:16:50)
My observations: The whole Championship was very well organised. Well done Belgium! The increase in numbers was probably due to the fact that large parties from Japan and Canada attended- something that did not happen last year due to the events of 11 September 2001. The catering was very good and reasonably priced. I particularly noticed the number of young people taking part (the whole Polish team looked like schoolboys to me) and I even spotted one young lady Pipesmoker wearing a leopardskin top and leather trousers………..(pause for reflection)…………I have offered her free membership of PCN.
Mrs. Garrard's observations can be summed up with the words 'Pipesmokers are very strange characters but extremely friendly.' This was her first experience of a pipesmoking Championship, and she much enjoyed the atmosphere. I think that she is hooked. She is already looking forward to Barcelona in 2003.
Keith's 'Easiest Quiz Ever'
1.Who ended his radio and television shows with the words 'Goodnight Mrs Calabash……..wherever you are'?
2.The chair and the pipe by Vincent van Gogh hangs in which art gallery?
3.The Atlanta American Football Team shares its name with which brand of pipe?
4.On display in Portsmouth Harbour, which battleship shares its name with a plug tobacco blended by Murray's?
5.The world's first steam locomotive to run on smooth rails was designed by William Hedley and first put into operation in 1813. How was it known?
6.An Arbroath Smoke is what type of fish?
7.Bourbon, a sugar cube, Angostura, a slice of lemon, a slice of orange and a dash of soda water (sounds disgusting to me) make a cocktail with the same name as which Larsens pipe tobacco?
8.Which song connects Blue Haze, Bryan Ferry and John Alford?
9.What was Warren Griffin doing in May 1997?
10.Which 1975 film starring Robert Redford and Faye Dunaway was directed by Sydney Pollack?
Web Watch
For lovers of MacBarens tobacco, try www.mac-baren.com where you can join the MacBarens Club online to receive free offers. Our good friend and PCN member Clive Humm has his wonderful pipes on display http://straightgrain.connect-2.co.uk These include Don Carlos, Moretti and Refbjerg pipes. Our buddies at the PC of London have a very good site at www.pcol.co.uk Well worth a browse. For pipes, tobacco and accessories, try www.pipesworld.com and the Pipesmokers' Council website is an online version of the Pipesmokers' Handbook on www.pipesmokerscouncil.org The Knoxville Cigar Company offers 10% discount on pipes and tobacco to PCN members on www.knoxcigar.com Welcome to pipe and pouch and the art and hobby of Pipesmoking. Hopefully among these pages you will find something of interest in our noble art…….' These are the opening words on www.pipe-smokers.co.uk And, finally: don't forget to look at our own website on www.rosarytavern.co.uk
Club Shop
Club Badges £2.50 including p&
Club Ties £8.50 including p&
(Available in Navy Blue, Royal Blue, Claret or Green)
Sweatshirt (Medium) £9.50 including p&
To order telephone the Secretary on (01603) 661079 or Email keith.garrard@ntlworld.com
Forthcoming Events
Sunday 13 October: THE BIG ONE! 11th Norfolk Open Pipesmoking Championship. Get your entry in now before it is too late.
Wednesday 16 October: The return of Ronnie Bobbin. A quiz based on pictures of famous Pipesmokers. An event not to be missed!
Wednesday 6 November: Annual darts tournament at Rosary Tavern. Who will take the longest time to get double one this year?
Wednesday 20 November; Come and enjoy an evening of cheese and pickle, or just come and get pickled.
Wednesday 18 December: Christmas Draw, festive fare, mistletoe and wine. On second thoughts, cancel the mistletoe.
Wednesday 15 January 2003: Annual General Meeting. The Secretary is looking forward to the longest meeting ever, with as many points of order and suggestions for action (all down to him) as can be managed in four hours. We are going for the Guinness Book of Records entry, so come prepared with as much nit-picking as a nit can pick.
Volume 3 Number 2 Summer 2002
PCN Meeting 20 March 2002
A good turnout for this meeting. Business completed, Peter Wrightson of Loretta Cigars gave a presentation on Orlik Tobaccos, with samples of both Golden Sliced and Extra Mild Mixture available for members to sample. Another sociable evening was rounded off by a raffle. To the obvious pleasure of all but one of those in attendance, this was the second meeting running at which the Secretary failed to win a prize.
Annual PCN Dinner Friday 5 April 2002
Once again the annual dinner was held at our HQ, The Rosary Tavern. Starters were prawns on a bed of lettuce or home-made mushroom soup. Main courses were half a roast Norfolk pheasant; Russian style salmon parcels; chicken, ham and asparagus pie. For sweet, fresh fruit salad baskets or 'Ian's Mum's out-of-this-world bread and butter pudding.' Coffee and mints to follow. The Club generously provided bottles of Californian Blossom Hill to wash down the victuals. Our new President, Shaun Struthers, was called upon to give an impromptu speech, during which he recalled his years as a PCN member and mentioned several other clubs with which he had been involved. He said that the Pipe Club was the most amiable and relaxing club with which he had ever been involved. The calling upon some unsuspecting member to give a speech has now become a tradition. To quote a famous advert, next year It could be you!

The Chairman kindly donated a Parker Pipe, and a free raffle was held. Jade- one of our waitresses- drew the winning ticket from the Vice chairman's trilby hat, and Adrian claimed the prize. (Pity she missed the ticket I had put the Bluetack on). A very pleasant evening, during which the conversation flowed and the jokes were terrible. So nothing new there, then.
Dutch Open Pipesmoking Championship Sunday 14 April 2002
Three Club members- Len Ellis, Reg Walker, Keith Garrard- set out by train from Norwich on Friday 12 April. Manningtree, Harwich, then a very enjoyable crossing, which included a three-course meal and all the coffee Len could drink (and that's a lot of coffee) to the Hook of Holland. Another train journey in a jam-packed rush-hour double-decker to Amsterdam, then a more restful train to Purmerend and a taxi to our hotel- Partyplace de Nieuwe Tuinbow (no, it wasn't that sort of party place) then out for an evening meal. A good night's sleep in our single rooms, despite a Canadian/Dutch wedding reception in full swing downstairs was followed by a good breakfast. Jealous yet? Oh yes, Keith 'two-beds' Garrard managed to get a double room, with his usual luck. Whether he used the spare bed for more than throwing his trousers on will remain a secret between him and the Chambermaid.

The day was spent investigating Purmerand (an Amsterdam suburb of some 70,000 population) where we came across the local tobacco shop, the owner of which gave us a very warm welcome as he proudly showed us his Pipesmoking sash, commemorative wallplates etc. We looked around the local shops and tested some of the bars. Oh yes, Len had some coffee and cake. Our evening meal was taken in a very high class (but reasonably priced) restaurant in the Koemarkt (cowmarket).

A sunny Sunday dawned and the day of the contest had arrived. The venue was a splendid 'brown café' bar called Café de Bonte Koe ('The multi-coloured Cow')).

We were given a very warm reception by our Dutch colleagues, who immediately seconded their two best English speakers (their worst were only excellent) to our table as guides. After some lively conversation the contest started at 1330 hours. French-made pipes, 3 grammes of MacBaren's Scottish Mixture, two matches and one wooden tamper were provided and after five minutes Laurens Abercrombie, the President of the Purmerend Club, gave the countdown and we were off. 48 competitors took part, including 10 ladies, and we three Englishmen as the only non-Dutch participants.

Although he wore a most stylish smoking hat, Keith succumbed after 40 minutes (not before a dozen or so others had fallen by the wayside). Len and Reg did us proud, finishing 14th and 15th respectively and both staying alight for over the hour. The winner was G Stam of den Helder with a time of 2'54'20. JA Sonderman of Dortrech Pipe Guild was second with 2'13'25 and the Ladies' prize was taken by our friend Jannie Zondag with 1'22'57.

After the prizes were distributed (and there was no raffle, so the Secretary went back to his two beds empty-handed for a change) we had the pleasure of watching ourselves on the Dutch Television News (The 'Red Hot Bowls' channel). Sunday evening was taken up with a visit to a very good Chinese restaurant. We headed home in the light rain of a Monday morning, with a couple of hours in Amsterdam on the way to the ferry. I noticed that the day after we arrived home the entire Dutch Government resigned. Nothing to do with us- honest.
Report in Noordhollands Dagblad dated 15 April 2002
So important was the Dutch contest that an article appeared (along with a picture of a group including the Vice Chairman in an Alpine hat) on the front page of the above-mentioned daily newspaper. We have had this article translated, at great expense. Extracts are as follows: 'PURMEREND: The Convivial Smoke Ring is the oldest Dutch pipesmokers' club, established in 1951….48 competitors came up for the contest from Den Helder, Sneek, Stadskanaal, Delft, Middelburg and even three jolly pipesmokers from Norwich, England. Former member Boelie Lanen comes on his bike just to sniff around and chat to his friends. 'I have stopped smoking because I liked it too much. I used to begin to smoke at seven in the morning and that went on the whole day through. You can't buy pipe tobacco in the supermarket so you must always have some extra available. Pipesmoking is not addictive- you can give it up. I used to like smoking in the car. In a traffic jam it was wonderful to sit quietly puffing my pipe while other motorists worked themselves up.'

Chairman Abercrombie, owner of 150 pipes, is a contented smoker. 'You don't inhale into your lungs. You get the taste on the tongue.' The Convivial Smoke Ring has members of all types; a poet, a metal worker and a fireman. On Club nights we always have very interesting conversations. A sociologist could do some rewarding fieldwork during afternoons like these, for a certain special, quiet but alert atmosphere hangs over the pipesmokers.' Caption to Photo: 'Ageing Juvenile Reggie Walker (at present resting from stage work) displays a relic from his long run in The Matterhorn Incident.' I somehow feel that our translator made that last bit up.
PCN Meeting 17 April 2002
The Chairman welcomed Martin Badham to his first meeting, which saw the welcome return of Dick Barham, who gave us a short quiz on Old Norwich Boozers (sorry, Pubs- we've had that joke before). To the surprise of the whole of Norwich, the person who answered most of the 14 questions correctly was Keith Garrard, with 12 correct, and close at his heels Frank King Jnr. with 11.

This all goes to prove who the two biggest artists in the club are (n.b the Vice Chairman was unavoidably detained in a pub in London and missed the meeting). Keith was presented with a packet of tobacco (hope it was MacBarens) and Frank, appropriately, won two bottles of ale. After a short break Dick gave a very interesting talk and slide show, also answering questions from the floor (not that he, or the members, were actually on the floor by then you understand). As always when Dick pays us a visit we had a most entertaining evening. The usual raffle was held and the secretary won a calculator (is it possible to cook the books with one of these?). For A website well worth accessing for some of Dick's astounding knowledge is at www.norfolkpubs.co.uk
PCN Meeting 15 May 2002
The main object of the annual 4 gramme contest is to try to beat the record set by Len Ellis- 97 minutes. This year someone came very close: read on!
3 grammes of Grand Cut were smoked in pipes of the members' choice. Keith Coleman tried a completely new method (a cross between ember-chasing and knitting) and was first out after 14''0.
At the hour mark, six contestants were still smoking. When George Doubleday went out after 63'45 it left Len Ellis and Reg Walker to battle it out. Len held up his hand after 94'10 and Reg may well have beaten the record had his bladder not got the better of him. His time was recorded as 95 minutes. Keith Coleman was presented with a loaf of Reg's mother-in-law's home-made bread as a consolation prize. The winner received a Dr. Plumb pipe, and the runner-up 50 grammes of tobacco. The usual raffle took place and (how I hate writing this bit) the Secretary won a prize.
Answers to Keith's 'Very Easy' Quiz- Spring Newsletter
  1. A Dutchman's pipe is a species of Aristolochia.
  2. Introduced in 1615, the first vending machines were called Honesty Tobacco Boxes.
  3. The cigarette coupons that entitled the winners to a free week in Paris were given with Kinnear's Handicap Cigarettes.
  4. Ron Isley featured on crap- sorry, rap- singer Warren G's 1997 hit Smokin' me Out.
  5. Kitty Russell owned the Long Branch Saloon in Gunsmoke.
  6. Pipeman of the year born in Heswall, Cheshire was Ian Botham.
  7. Pipemaker with the same name as the composer of Tantivy Towers was Dunhill.
  8. In the Sitcom 'Bless This House' Sid Abbot supported Chelsea.
  9. Freddie Trueman took 2304 first-class wickets in his career.
  10. The Blue Pipe Tree is better known as the Lilac.
The winner was Reg Walker, who as a prize will be allowed the privilege of buying the Secretary a pint.
From the Archives 1983
The tenth AGM was held on Tuesday 25 January 1983 at The Coach and Horses Thorpe Road. Ten members were present to hear Malcolm Palmer announce his intention to stand down as Secretary. The Chairman immediately proposed that he, as one of the founder members, should take the position of Life President, which Malcolm accepted with thanks. Shaun Struthers was elected Secretary. Following the meeting, a cheese tasting was enjoyed with a fine show of pickles supplied by Phil Leach.

The Club's Annual Contest was held 16 February, with 3g McConnell Glen Piper in clay Churchwardens. The winner was Len Ellis, 70'31- a long way ahead of runner-up Reg Walker with 44'35. On 29 March members met in the Queen's Head (Upper Saint Giles- now a clothing repair shop) for drinks, and then moved on to Green's restaurant where an evening meal was enjoyed.

18 April saw the club play a friendly darts match against a team from the Bignold Arms at the Mill Tavern. PCN won 5-2. Sandwiches and a cheese board were enjoyed, and a return match played the following Monday at the Bignold, where the Club won 4-3. In June members brought along selections of pipes and pipe-related items. Each member also brought along a tin or packet of tobacco. Chris Stokes (of EDP) kindly supplied some clay Churchwardens, and an enjoyable sampling evening ensued. A pipe rack was raffled and won by Reg Walker.

The July tour of Historic Houses took in the Shirehall, the Nag's Head, the Prince of Wales, the Compasses, and the Merchants of Colegate. In August the members enjoyed a river trip from Elm Hill to Surlingham, stopping for a pint at the Boat and Bottle on the way back. I recently asked a member who was on the said trip if he had any memories of it. His reply was 'We saw a Kingfisher!' That exciting, hey?

At the October meeting Bill Taylor gave a talk on the making of Dunhill Pipes. Club ties were made available to members for the first time. It was announced that Mr and Mrs Rutter were to leave the pub which had served PCN well as our HQ. In November, a selection of Radford's tobaccos was sampled, supplied by Brumfits of Holborn. The Christmas tour took in the Sir Garnet Wolsley, the Fruiterer's Arms, the walnut Tree Shades, the Vine and the Merchants of Colegate.
Forthcoming Events
Saturday 6 July: Annual bowls tournament at the British Rail bowling green. 1430 hours start. Plenty of good food at Rosary Tavern afterwards.
Wednesday 17 July: Our third cigar smoking contest. Who can produce the longest ash?
Wednesday 21 August: An auction evening. Each member is asked to bring a couple of smoking-related objects to be auctioned for club funds.
Saturday 7- Sunday 8 September: World championship in Saint-Niklass, Belgium.
Wednesday 18 September: Annual clay pipe smoking contest.
Saturday 21 September: Novotel Cup, celebrating 21 years of the Novotel Pipe Club, Poznan, Poland.
Sunday 13 October: The biggest event on the calendar! The Eleventh Norfolk Open Pipesmoking championship at the Lansdowne Hotel, Norwich. This year's competition pipes are being made for us by the Royal Dutch Pipe Company. Alfred Dunhill Pipes Ltd. have kindly supplied us with a Dunhill Cumberland Pipe for first prize, and we have our first ever lady guest speaker, Fiona Adler, who is MD of Cadogan, pipe makers since 1825. The competition tobacco will be Samuel Gawith's Perfection Mixture.
Wednesday 16 October: The return of Ronnie Bobbin. Ronnie has spent two years putting together pictures of famous pipe smokers. He will now present these in the form of a quiz.
Wednesday 6 November: Annual darts tournament at the Rosary tavern. Who will get pinned to the wall this year?
Wednesday 20 November: An evening of Cheese and Pickle.
Wednesday 18 December: Christmas draw and party night. Festive food, party hats and streamers.
Short Puffs
Borne from a short frail pipe which yet had blown
Its gentle odours over either zone,
And, puff'd where'er winds rise or waters roll
Had wafted smoke from Portsmouth to the Pole…….
25 grammes of tobacco to the first person to tell The Secretary who wrote these words.
  Charles Kingsley
Kingsley would work himself into a sort of white heat over the book he was writing until, too excited to write more, he would calm himself down with a pipe. He was a great smoker, and tobacco was to him a needful sedative. He always used a long and clean Churchwarden, and these pipes used to be brought a barrelful at a time.
They lurked in all sorts of unexpected places. A pipe would suddenly be extracted from a bush in the garden, already filled, as if by magic, or one has even been drawn from a whin-bush on the heath, some half-mile from the house. But none was ever smoked that was in any degree foul, and when there was a vast accumulation of old pipes, enough to fill the barrel, they were sent back again to the kiln to be rebaked and returned fresh and new. A Riddle
No prizes for this one.
To three-fourths of a cross add a circle complete,
Let two semicircles a perpendicular meet,
Next add a triangle that stands on two feet,,
Then two semi-circles, and a circle complete.
Club Shop
Club Badges £2.50 including postage and packing
Club Ties £8.50
Available in Navy Blue, Royal Blue, Claret and Green.
There is one PCN Sweatshirt left, in medium size
(I don't think that we have many medium sized members). £9.50 including postage and packing.
Readers' Letters
Nobody ever writes to us, nobody loves us, and we are feeling very lonely (but not lonely enough to offer money for 'Prize Letters'). Please send any articles, complaints, suggestions or other correspondence to: Keith Garrard
Volume 3 Number 4 Winter 2002 PCN Meeting 18 September 2002
As seems to be the trend over the past few years, not many members were brave enough to turn out for the annual clay pipesmoking contest. 3 grammes of Premier League Rich Dark Flake smoked in various clays. John Elvin probably wished that the bowls season was a month longer, as he went out after 1'30.

At the 30 minute mark, only two smokers were left. Tony Larner held up his hand after 35'05, leaving who else but Len 'Hurricane' Ellis as the winner.

As the Vice Chairman was absent (disco-dancing at a birthday party) the Secretary presented the winner with a carved Indian Chief Head pipe plus tobacco. The runner-up received an Ogden's pipe.
Norfolk Pipesmoking Championship Sunday 13 October 2002
The big event had arrived again. Pipesmokers with their families and friends started to arrive from as far away as Bridlington and Bristol, Ber Street and Bermondsey. A fantastic array of pipes was available for perusal or purchase, stands being organised by Clive Humm, Bill Taylor and Peter Blackman (Cadogan). Murrays and Loretta offered tobacco for sampling, and all of this set the scene for a very enjoyable three-course lunch following which our Toastmaster, David Bullock, introduced guest speaker Fiona Adler.

Fiona is the Managing Director of Cadogan, the prestigious pipe makers (established 1825), and her speech took the form of a quiz, with samples from her pipe and accessories collection that had been handed down through the Adler family. The Toastmaster then introduced our Chairman who, after presenting Fiona with a basket of flowers, thanked the hotel for its excellent organisation, the trade representatives for their attendance and exceptional patronage, and the event organiser 'without whom.......' A massive raffle then took place wherein Richard Neville broke the all-time record for winning the most prizes (Adrian had to lend him one of his bin-liners). This was our most successful raffle ever, raising the huge sum of £300.

Everyone then assembled in the bar for the answers to Fiona's quiz, won by John Green, who was presented with an enviable BBB 2002 Christmas Pipe.

So the room was ready for the contest. Sheila, our timekeeper, gave the signal to start, and five minutes was allowed to fill the Big Ben pipes with 3 grammes of Perfection Mixture. A cloud of smoke then filled the room as 36 contestants lit their pipes. Adrian Baker claimed his place on the famous wooden matchstick, having failed to make smoke after 12'10, closely followed by John Elvin at 16'45. When John Beaton went cold at 54'19 only 4 contestants were left to battle it out. Reg Stevens failed to produce smoke at 61'05, then Frank King Snr. at 63'40. Then Dave Polhill at 67'05. No mention so far of Len Ellis- yes, he won the day at 75'15, champion for the fourth time. One has the feeling that he could have kept going longer.

The team prize was won by Norfolk, with London second and Hollingsworth's Pipe Club (Birmingham) third. Fiona Adler presented prizes to the first five contestants, and the dreaded matchstick to Adrian (with strict instructions not to use it on his garden bonfires). With 67 people sitting down to lunch and 36 taking part in this contest, this was once again a most successful day.

It was wonderful to see a party from Birmingham- not the easiest of journeys to Norwich on an Autumn Sunday- and we very much hope that they enjoyed themselves, and will return next year. Now for the thank-yous. First of all, to the Hotel and all of the staff for putting up with us with such good humour. The meal was of the usual high standard and the staff were very friendly and helpful. We are booked for 19 October 2003. Put it in your diary!

This event could not be the success it is without the help of the trade, and this year we had more prizes than ever. Special thanks go to Bob Gregory of Samuel Gawith Ltd, who not only supplied the contest tobacco but gave a total of 850 grammes to the top three finishers.

A huge vote of thanks to Sheila for selling so many raffle tickets and for acting as time-keeper, and to Ken Patterson for acting as referee. A final word of thanks goes to the Eastern Daily Press for such good coverage- an unusual and most welcome media event given the current anti-smoking publicity received elsewhere.

(The writer of the above, Keith Garrard, our Organiser, is too modest to have his own name mentioned here, so we will leave him unacknowledged other than to say that his transfer fee is greater than Beckham's).
PCN Meeting 16 October 2002
The evening started badly. The Chairman had forgotten his knocker, and it is difficult for a knockerless chairman to control an unruly mob such as the members of the Pipe Club of Norfolk.

The main event of the evening was a quiz organised by Ronnie Bobbin, who has been collecting photographs of pipesmokers for the past two years. There were twenty pictures in all, with a subsidiary question for each. The photographs covered a wide field, from Robin Williams as Popeye, Stephen Fry, Albert Einstein, Harold Wilson, to Mike Yarwood as Harold Wilson. The winner was Keith Garrard with 23 correct answers, winning him a Big Ben pipe. Colin Wylie was second with 20 ˝ points, winning 50g of tobacco. A very interesting and entertaining evening, which finished with a few pints and a mardle in the bar of The Rosary.
PCN Meeting 20 November 2002
The Chairman welcomed John Walker to his first meeting, then gave a report (see below) of his trip to America.

The main event of the evening was the consumption of cheese and pickles. Thirteen different cheeses were enjoyed, including Y Fenni, a Welsh cheddar with wholegrain mustard, Tintern with shallots and chives, Smoked Applewood and a very nice cheddar from the Orkneys. These were accompanied by pickled onions, red cabbage, mixed pickles and piccalilli. Our biggest turnout for a long while: we even had to get extra chairs. A small group of members finished the evening in the bar drinking Ian's wonderful real ale. I must have eaten too much cheese because I had a hangover the next morning.
National Tobacconists' Trade Exhibition
This year's event was held at Trent Bridge Cricket Ground, Nottingham, 22-24 September and was a large and well-attended event, as the following brief report shows.

Merton and Falcon had three new tobaccos from Peterson on show: Luxury Blend, Gold Blend, and the limited product Special Edition (blink and you might miss it). Also on display were the new Porsche pipes, which retail at a mere £195 each. If you buy one, of course you will need a Porsche pipe tool to go with it: a snip at £60.

Ten of each are being given away on a first-come-first-served basis at Churchills of Norwich on 31 November 2002 and 29 February 2003 (will someone help pick John Elvin off the floor please?). The new pipe set from Peterson was on the same stand: the Great Explorer set is dedicated to Robert Falcon Scott, Ernest Shackleton, Roald Admundsen and Tom Crean. These are silver-banded pipes and yours for a mere £400. Gawith Hoggarth have introduced a new flake, Grasmere. I tried some and found that it burnt a little bit hot. Tor Imports have a one-off Christmas special called Rudolph, which has been blended by one of Europe's top tobacco blenders and comes in 100 gramme tins with a picture of Father Christmas and his reindeers on the front. A limited number of tins will be available at £16 from Churchills. Get your order in now!

Samuel Gawith have launched two new flakes, Kendal Cream and Bracken (see the 'Guinea Pig' item in the Autumn Newsletter). Murrays are blending a loose version of Balkan Sobranie, which Gallahers are taking off the market at the end of the year. They also intend to blend replacements for some of Ogden's loose flakes, which by the time you read this will be off the market. These include Tam O'Shanter, Bulwark and Grand Cut. Loretta are introducing three new tobaccos by W.O.Larsen: A True Delight, Smooth and Tasty and Simply Unique. The first features Vanilla and Orange, the second red Wine, Vanilla and Clove, and the third vanilla, Chocolate and walnut. Sounds more like an ice-cream stall.

On the Cadogan stand was this year's golfing pipe by Nording in the shape of a putter. The smooth version retails at £117. The Comoy Christmas Pipe 2002 is quite impressive and sells at £45. At the other end of the price range are Polo lightweights. These have very small bowls and retail at £5.50.
54th American Annual Pipe Convention and Competition
Chairman Len Ellis reports as follows:

'I decided that in October I would go to the USA to visit my daughter in San Diego. She said that she would make all the travel arrangements using some of her air miles. What I did not know was that she had used the Internet to contact the President of the Arkansas Pipe Club and had made all the bookings for me to attend the convention held in Hardy, Arkansas. When I recovered from the surprise I was concerned that the nearest I could get to Hardy by air was Little Rock. No problem: one of the local club members had agreed to drive to Little Rock and collect me. On the Thursday I was picked up at the hotel and driven for 2 ˝ hours to Hardy. After booking into the hotel I was immediately invited to a birthday party organised by one of the local club for one of their members. At the hotel I met members of the Kentuckiana Club, who offered to drive me to all the local events.

On Friday afternoon we went to the local Elks Club where the convention took place. I spent the afternoon meeting and chatting to the various club members who were there for registration. Friday evening was taken up enjoying a buffet meal.

Saturday was a long day. Breakfast was laid on at the Convention Centre from 7 a.m. onwards. There were 38 large tables taken up by exhibitors displaying the largest array of pipes, tobacco etc. that I have ever seen. After a snack lunch we got down to the serious business of the competition. Using your own pipe and 3.3 grammes of cube cut Burley. 5 minutes to load, I minute to light using two matches. Any (other than wooden) pipe tool could be used. In this competition the normal winning time is between 90 and 110 minutes, but this year times were pathetic. I finished 6th with a time of 63 minutes. The difference between 6th and 3rd was only three minutes. The winner managed 78 minutes. Nobody was sure why the times were so bad other than perhaps that the tobacco was a lot more moist than usual. I was more than happy with 6th place considering how strange I found the Burley tobacco. As a prize I was presented with a very good American pipe and 250 grammes of tobacco.

Tobacco was a bit of a sore point. At various stalls I was given tins of tobacco to try, then in a raffle I won a pipe and a large bag of assorted tobacco. I found to my horror that I had accumulated some 900 grammes, with the Customs limit of 250 grammes. My nerve failed me, and although I exceeded the limit I gave away a large bag of tobacco to a young lad in the local club (A Secretary comments: 'Hope it was the Black Cavendish he gave away'). The evening finished with a large buffet and bar.

The friendly reception I received from all the contestants was unbelievable. I don't think that there was one person present who did not come over for a chat. On the Sunday morning I was driven back to Little Rock in the President's old but lovely Cadillac in time to continue my journey to San Diego. I had many invitations to go back in future years. It was not a cheap trip, but an experience I would recommend to any dedicated pipe smoker.'
From the Archives: 1985
The AGM was held on Thursday 17 January in the club room at the Coach and Horses. This meeting was poorly attended, mainly due to the sub-zero temperatures.

The annual briar contest was held in February, using 3 grammes of Troost Aromatic. This proved to be a fast-burning tobacco and times were not very good. Reg Walker was the winner in 52'58, with Phil Lewis runner-up. Reg received a Parker pipe.

At the start of the March meeting the Secretary distributed three 5 gramme sachets of tobacco to each member. These were Black Cherry, Cappuccino and Black Cavendish (must have been a foul-smelling room!). Members displayed their best pipes and smoking accessories, and Frank Lissimore kindly donated a pipe rack to be raffled. Two 50 gramme packets of tobacco had also been donated. Malcolm Palmer managed to draw his own ticket for first prize, then Reg Walker drew out his own ticket and so did Phil Leach (sounds like a fiddle to me).

April saw a visit from Bob Gregory of Forrestal tobacco (now with Samuel Gawith Ltd.) armed with lots of samples. The members were joined by the Reverend Stewart Ridley and his wife Sally, who were on holiday in the area. Rev. Ridley was Secretary of The Commercial and Briar Guild, a pipe club in West Yorkshire. Bob Gregory was made an honorary member of the club and presented with a club tie.

In May members visited Bill Taylor's pipe factory in Dagenham. Coffee and biscuits were served on arrival, after which Bill took members on a tour of the factory. Lunch was taken in a local pub, and Bill insisted in paying for the lot, as well as presenting each member with a brand new pipe. Not much happened at the June meeting except a general natter. 50 grammes of Clan was raffled and Reg Walker drew out his own ticket out again (and they moan about the present day Secretary). Only three members tuned up for the July meeting, so very little happened, but later in the month the traditional tour of historic houses took in the Brown Derby, Red Lion, Merchants, Golden Star and White Lion. The Brown Derby (now Pottergate Tavern) received a special mention for the bad beer and even worse service.

In August members met at Thorpe Station for a swift pint in the Railway Lounge before boarding a train to Sheringham, where the Two Lifeboats and the Robin Hood were visited before moving on to Cromer. After a pint in the Wellington, fish and chips were enjoyed at Mary Jane's. These were washed down with a few more beers in the Red Lion. Boozy old lot, the pipe club members in those days. A far cry from the sober members of today. A tobacco sampling evening was also held in August. Phil Leach brought along three bags of tobacco which he had purchased in Buxton, Derbyshire. These were Sherry and Cherry, Plum and Rum and Black Cavendish (another smelly evening). The Secretary introduced new member Frank King.

A cheese and pickle evening was held in September, when nine different foreign cheeses were enjoyed.

In October five members visited Norwich Beer Festival, and in November an evening meal was organised at Tatlers restaurant. The November monthly meeting was taken up sampling tobaccos, including Peach Brandy, Black Virginia, Nut and Berry and Wild Honey (yet another smelly evening).

The Christmas tour took in the White Lion, Golden Star, Woolpack and Ribs of Beef.
A Poem for Computer Users aged Over Forty
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things

And that really mega bytes

An application was for employment
A programme was a TV show
A curser used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.

I'll stick to my notepad and paper
And the memory in my head
No one's been killed in a computer crash
But it makes their face turn red.

Written by Rear Admiral Robert Erly, U.S.N. (retired).
Answer Corner: Keith's 'Easy' Quiz, Autumn Edition
1.Jimmy Durante ended his radio and television shows with the words 'Goodnight Mrs Calabash..........wherever you are.'
2.The Chair and the Pipe by Vincent van Gogh have been moved from the Tate to the National Gallery. I have accepted either answer.
3.The Atlanta American Football Team is known as the Falcons.
4.The Battleship that shares its name with a Murray's Plug Tobacco is the Warrior.
5.The world's first steam locomotive to run on smooth rails was known as Puffing Billy.
6.The Arbroath Smokie is Haddock.
7.The cocktail sharing its name with a Larsen pipe tobacco is Old Fashioned.
8.Blue Haze, Bryan ferry and John Alford all recorded Smoke gets in your Eyes. (I had to use it sooner or later).
9.In May 1997, warren Griffin was Smokin' Me Out.
10.The 1975 film was Three days of the Condor
PCN Annual Darts Tournament 6 November 2002
The annual darts tournament was once again well organised by Keith Coleman, and the standard of play was very high this year (the reason for this last statement will soon become clear).

In a Round Robin tournament, two players finished with three wins out of four, these being Colin Wylie and Keith Garrard. Using the 'Walker' rule (in his absence on physiological grounds) a sudden death play-off took place, during which Keith emerged as champion. Trophies were awarded to the winners, and the star prize of a 50 gramme tin of tobacco was awarded to Walter Thompson for the highest score of the evening (even though he finished in last place).

Sandwiches were enjoyed after the game, washed down with the finest real ale in Norwich.
Christmas Competition: Win a Pipe!
Answer these eight 'easy' questions, then rearrange the first letter of each to make the name of a well-known pipe tobacco. Send your answers to Keith Garrard, 18 Florence Road, Norwich NR1 4BJ, or Email keith.garrard@ntlworld.com by the AGM. The first name drawn out of the Vice Chairman's hat will win a quality pipe.

1.Who had a Christmas Number One hit in 1974 with Lonely this Christmas?

2.An external territory of Australia, in which ocean is Christmas Island?

3.In A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, what was Scrooge's first name?

4.Helleborus Niger is better known as The Christmas......?

5.Associated with something you might see on a Christmas card, what was the nickname of the Bow Street Runners?

6.The Magi are also known as the Three Wise Men of the......?

7.At Christmas you might stuff the turkey with sage and.........?

8.The patron saint of children is Saint........?
Forthcoming Events for 2003
Wednesday 15 January PCN 31st Annual General Meeting

Wednesday 19 February PCN Annual Briar Smoking Contest. Who can beat the Norfolk Champion?

Thursday 27 February Pipesmoker of the Year Award Luncheon at the Savoy Hotel, London WC2.

Wednesday 19 March Peter Wrightson of Loretta Cigars presents an evening of Larsens tobacco.

Friday 4 April Annual dinner at The Rosary Tavern. Who will be called upon to make an impromptu speech this year?

Saturday 4 and Sunday 5 October The World Cup of Pipe Clubs at the Fira Palace Hotel, Barcelona.

Sunday 19 October The Big Event! The 12th Norfolk Open Pipesmoking Championship at the Lansdowne Hotel, Norwich.
Congratulations to our chairman Len Ellis who won the above event held at Dunhills in Jermyn Street.
Not only did he win the event, he beat his personal record by keeping alight for 100 minutes and 40 seconds.
Club Badges £2.50 inc. p&p
Club Ties £8.50
Please order from the secretary.
Thanks to web wizard John Walker we now have a brand new all singing, all dancing website.
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